“We are capable of altering and defining masculinity in ways that don’t have to boil over into sexual aggression. That doesn’t boil over into massive homicides. That doesn’t boil over into our homes destroying children’s lives. Sure, you need a defensive and capable manhood, but don’t let the superficial dictate. Marcus Garvey asked where are your men of industry, not where are your pimps, and dope dealers and brothers that want to look like a pimp and drive around dressed like a dope dealer. Not men with professional jobs who use the vernacular of the dope dealer and wish to act like the pimp, while turning their noses up at the real pimps and dope dealers. “
…to “normal” eating, I mean. I put it in quotations because I’m pretty sure I’ll never eat what was “normal” for me again.
My doctor gave me clearance to try “mushy” foods as tolerated. This is code for: make sure whatever you swallow is soft and can travel easily.
My first taste was egg salad. I know I said it would be grits, but I was so happy leaving the doctor’s office I just wanted SOMETHING. I was with a friend of mine and we stopped at a local deli. I asked for the smallest possible cup of egg salad and she gave me one that had to be about 3 or 4 oz. I ate 3 bites of it, the softer parts, not the chunks of eggs. I was in heaven. I’m a foodie, through and through and love food. I learned my first lesson about just how hard it is to put food away. That egg salad was stuck in my chest for almost 2 hours. THREE bites took 2 hours to pass through, which is the best part about the procedure. You stay fuller, longer, on smaller amounts of food.
Then, another friend scrambled an egg for me. I asked her to add milk to make it fluffier and softer. It was the best damned scrambled egg I’ve ever eaten in life. No bullshit, it was. I ate about half of it before I had to stop and take some deep breaths. About 15 minutes later, I was able to eat the rest, but I felt it in my chest. I knew I’d eaten too much. This is someone who normally eats 3-4 egg whites or 2 full eggs WITH sausage, grits, and pancakes… and is still hungry. I was full off of half a scrambled egg! Wow. I also picked up some beans and peas, and last night had some amazing black-eyed peas. 3 whole bites!!
Today was my first venture in eating outside. I had kids with me who wanted Wendy’s. I was actually feeling a bit of hunger. The doc said most people start feeling the emptiness around week 2 or 3. I had a protein shake for breakfast, half a scrambled egg and half a teaspoon of hummus for lunch 5 hours prior, so yeah, I was feeling a little empty… but still not starving or even naggingly hungry. Just a tad empty. I debated btwn the carb-packed baked potato (which I could mush up) and chili. I opted for the chili (go me!) after searching on MyFitnessPal and finding a cup contains 17G of protein. Everything now is about protein.
I enjoyed those 3 spoonfuls. I really did. I chewed slowly until the food was smooth enough to pass through. And, I was done. I began to feel the tightness in my chest and that’s my signal that I am DONE. I listen to it and refuse to ignore it anymore.
The best part? I had food to take home. I have about 3-4 more meals in that small cup of Wendy’s chili. The money I’m saving is just unreal. I looked in my fridge and was like “Wow, I have PLENTY of food in here” though I know the average person would be like “Damn, got nothing to eat”.
Turning and turning in the widening gyre The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand; Surely the Second Coming is at hand. The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi Troubles my sight: a waste of desert sand; A shape with lion body and the head of a man, A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun, Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again but now I know That twenty centuries of stony sleep Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle, And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
official loss (2 weeks, 1 day post-op): 19.8 lbs
blood pressure: 105/89
heart rate: 89
cleared to do cardio
no swimming or weight-lifting
cleared to go back to work 4-6 hours a day for first week.
Doc says my WL is ahead of the curve.
That’s probably the one question you don’t want to ask someone losing weight lol
Understood that it probably comes from a good place, but… imagine being asked that umpteen times a day. Imagine being asked that mostly by people who are unfamiliar with how drastic weight loss effort works, on the whole, or how it works after weight loss surgery. It’s weird because you feel like the star of your own weight loss porn. In this age of televising extreme weight loss shows, people have become obsessed with people losing weight for a myriad of reasons. Some are inspired, others poke fun, but America’s obsession with weight loss is at an all time high, and everyone wants to know what’s going on.
Most times, people ask this question because that is the one way they know how to show their support and feel it’s encouraging to ask “How much have you lost?” Sometimes, it’s because they are eager for them to fail. Many folks become uncomfortable with the big people in their lives losing weight, which is a shame. The even bigger shame is that they secretly hope they aren’t successful.
But back to this question…. Weight loss has its ups and downs, no matter how one goes about it. My weight loss surgery drastically restricts my calorie intake. Many folks take that same route. My advantage is not being hungry. Cool. Doesn’t mean that I don’t experience the same issues of “stalling” (when your body stops losing weight because its adjusting to recent weight loss) or gains. Yes, I can still gain weight, because thats how it works. Up, down, up, down, down, down, up, down, down, up, up, down. Also, its not just about the pounds, though we’re led to believe that is everything. Sure lbs matter, but inches do too.
I’ve stopped weighing myself daily. I didnt think I would so soon but I have. I’m going to weigh-in weekly, as I feel that will more accurately reflect my progress. Losing .2 lbs one day and 1.5 the next doesnt help my psyche at all. I just have to stick on plan.
I’ll tell y’all how much I’ve lose when I’m ready. I’ll even post pics. Until then, please respect my wishes and don’t keep asking me how many pounds I’ve lost. I’ll let you know when I’m comfortable sharing.
we’re allowed to be overweight as long as we “never quit” trying, publicly and vocally, to be thinner. As long as we stay on the merry-go-round of dieting, and publicize how well we eat and how much we exercise. And it’s the best first line of defense against a lot of people–it shuts people up. Yeah I’m fat, but… (but I exercise four days a week, but I’m a vegan, but I never eat fast food, but I take a dance class, but but…)
What if the real answer is: yeah, I’m fat. And so what?
“The male ego is so fragile, yet its worn on most men’s sleeves with open, easy access to the world around them. Apparently, something is wrong with women gushing over men who are more chiseled, have better facial features, and of course, bigger dicks. Entirely too much of the male ego is carried in his dick. It shows when they throw tantrums or dismiss our adoration of dicks bigger than their own. One of the worst (and first) insults women hurl at men relates to their dick size. Why? Because women know that’s how to cut a man down.”
They prescribed Prevacid for a reason… to prevent the damned invevitably acid.
I thought I was cool not taking it yesterday. Wasn’t going to take it today. Bad move.
Due to the reduced volume of my stomach and the shape of my sleeve, there is an increase in heartburn and acid reflux. Things simply go up and down in my chest. It sucks. Worst heartburn than when I was pregnant with my curly-haired baby. So yeah, I put the Prevacid in the pillbox and I *will* continue to take it daily… at least until I can hold more volume.
“Slut-shaming is when people attempt to vilify women who embrace their sexuality in positive ways and live their lives empowered. Slut-shaming is also bout blaming victims of sexual mistreatment, deeming them deserving of it because of their willful engagement in sexual activity. Slut-shaming is one reason why prostitutes and strippers rarely report rape and violence; almost everyone believes their deserve it and they are at fault for putting themselves in those positions. Should women be more careful about the choices they make every day? Yes, of course. Is that an excuse to rape us and be violent towards us? No.
But then, people blame women for wearing mini skirts and tight dresses when they are raped. People also blame women for drinking too much when they are raped. During rape trials, the first thing defense attorneys do is bring up the victims’ sexual histories and attempt to discredit women’s claims of rape based on them having had sex before. Because only virgins are raped… right?”
I’m reposting this in light of the recent developments in the DSK rape case. I feel so out of sorts about the entire thing because when it comes to rape, the burden of proof is so heavily on the victim and the minute it becomes known that the victim wasnt a virgin prior to the alleged rape, all efforts are made to discredit her claims.
The fact that the DA is painting her as a “whore” boggles the mind. The conspiracy theorist in me says DSK got to the prosecution.
At some point, we as a society are going to have to stop negating the possibility of rape based on a woman’s sexual past. I don’t care if a woman has had 100 partners, if the last encounter was not consensual, it is RAPE.
We have to stop thinking women deserve sexual assault because they sleep with a lot of people. I don’t care if a woman is a sex worker, rape is still rape.
This weekend is the first time having my son with me since having surgery. Until now, I’ve only had to prepare “meals” for myself. I realized I threw out most of the foods I was eating before, forgetting that I have to feel him real food.
Yesterday, he said he wanted a beef patty for lunch. I took him to the Caribbean restaurant around the corner and got him one. It was the first time I felt some temptation. I LOVE Jamaican food. But, I didnt cave in. I just licked my fingers lol
Of course, for dinner, he wanted chicken nuggets and french fries. Again, didn’t feel any temptation. I convinced him to change the fries for salad and he ate it. I didnt order anything.
This morning, I made him scrambled eggs and sausage and strawberry/chocolate protein shake for me. The smell of the sausage kinda made my stomach churn a bit. Needless to say, I felt no temptation.
A while ago, I was on Twitter and a number of people said things like “I don’t get the big deal about Prince” or “I want to love him but I don’t get it”. I decided, as the devoted fan that I am, that I would compile a list of songs that I felt best represented the scope of Prince’s talents (songwriting, musicianship, etc). I called on a dear friend and fellow music snob, @stereowilliams, to assist because I knew my fandom might cloud my perspective. When you’re a die-hard fan, you often lose sight of what appeals to novices or disbelievers. We worked on this list for quite some time. Without further ado, I present, in no particular order:
25 Essential Prince Songs For People Who Don’t Understand Prince Fandom
Let’s Go Crazy (Purple Rain) Energetic metaphoric rock song Purple Rain (Purple Rain) A quintessential rock ballad Computer Blue (Purple Rain) One of his best guitar solos Controversy (Controversy) Prince’s funky reflections on his various dualities and his expression of his desire for us all to shirk labels and just be united under music When You Were Mine (Dirty Mind) Great display of his rhythm guitar skills Lady Cab Driver (1999) Prince references taxi cabs a lot, probably his shouts to his NYC experiences. This is a sexy take on one such experience. How Come U Don’t Call Me Anymore (non-album B-side to the single “1999”) A example of his mastery of the “piano ballad” 17 Days (non-album B-side to “When Doves Cry” and “Girls & Boys”) — a funky lament with psychedelic elements. Amy Winehouse referenced it in “Rehab” She’s Always In My Hair (non-album B-side of “Paisley Park” and “Raspberry Beret”) Arguably the best of Prince’s infamous “B-Sides”. Tambourine (Around The World In A Day) Essential representation of Prince’s psychedelic experimentation. I Could Never Take The Place of Your Man (Sign O’ The Times) A must for the rock and metal heads who haven’t heard Prince *really* play his guitar. The guitar solo is SICK. Anotherloverholeinyohead (Parade/Under The Cherry Moon Sdtk) A fine display of Prince’s arrogance/ego. Best song on the Parade album, one could argue. Annie Christian (Controversy) An early peek into Prince’s views on Christianity. Its also one of his punk explorations. Strange Relationship (Sign O’ The Times) One of his best straight-up pop songs. He showed how complexity in ideas of love make for a great song. 4 The Tears In Your Eyes (“The B-Sides”) Prince does gospel and does it well. This is his best gospel song. The proceeds went to the We Are the World foundation after he declined participation in the song. I Wish You Heaven (Lovesexy) Another short, sweet, spiritual song Money Don’t Matter Tonight (Diamonds and Pearls) Prince’s social commentary presented beautifully as only Prince can do it. Ballad of Dorothy Parker (Sign O’ The Times) While not written about the famous Dorothy Parker, it is interesting to note that she died on his birthday (June 7). Eye Hate U (The Gold Experience) - The battle of vulnerability, ego, and pride. Killer guitar solo. Rumored to be about Carmen Electra. Insatiable (Diamonds and Pearls) Decidedly, Prince’s sexiest song. Stereowilliams and I went back and forth about this because he wanted to put Scandalous, but in the end I won because it’s my list lol The beauty of this song is how the music responds to his calls as if representing the lover he is being intimate with. Delightfully erotic. Adore (Sign O’ The Times) Arguably the best love ballad ever. Sign of the Times (Sign O’ The Times) Prince’s social commentary (AIDS, poverty, drug abuse, etc), again, in the bluesiest of presentations. This was the first single from the first album after his split from The Revolution. Pink Cashmere (no album) This is another of Prince’s singles, written about an actual gift given to a girlfriend. His falsetto in this song is sublime. Call My Name (Musicology) The latest “essential” song. A sweet, Grammy-winning ballad never released as an official single. Prince reminded us of his talent as one of the best balladeers ever. Diamonds and Pearls (Diamonds and Pearls) Prince’s vocal collaborations with Rosie Gaines and his work with the New Power Generation are essential. Arguably, NPG is the best band Prince has ever worked with. Another loving, tender ballad. So, if you’re trying to get into Prince and don’t quite “get it” maybe this list can help you better understand why people are so crazy about him. I didn’t get too obscure and tried to avoid the obvious hits. If you’ve heard the major hits and still aren’t a fan, what’s the point, right? At the same time, you can’t deny that those songs are essential… they were made famous for a reason. Also, some of his more obscure songs can alienate folks who aren’t die-hard fans, so I didn’t want to include those.Hope this helps.